Valentines Day, or as many of my guy friends like to call it, “Val the Destroyer,” is responsible for more breakups, night’s on the couch and withholding of ‘intimacy’ than any other date on the calendar.
But don’t despair. Secrets of the Red Carpetis here to help you through this trying time. Handled properly V-Day can be the source of enough boyfriend points to last you to, well, next Valentines Day. So…
Do this Now: take out your mobile device of choice and put an alarm on Feb. 14.
Then, set a reminder for 1day, 2days and one week before. Set it to recur yearly from now until that year in the future when you no longer wish to get laid.
Then: Make a dinner reservation. Someplace nice. If you don’t know what that means, ask if they use cloth napkins.
It’s doesn’t have to be a bank breaker but do NOT take her to a sports bar.
If you do and the night goes badly I WILL say I told you so.
Then: Arrange for a token or tokens of your affection. The Big Three are:
Flowers: Have them delivered during the day to her place of work so there will be witnesses to your awesomeness.
Chocolate: 1) make sure she’s not allergic and 2) If she’s on a diet –or even if she’s not — make it small and precious. A perfect chocolate dipped strawberry is a good choice.
Jewelry: always welcome. Here, it really is the thought that counts.
But a word of warning: If you’re going to give her jewelry at dinner, make sure it’s not in a ring shaped box. This sets up an expectation that will backfire badly, unless of course you’re proposing marriage.
To top the evening off, or get it going, nothing says lovin’ like lingerie. Ferret out her size and if you’re not sure on styling, get advice.
To show my appreciation and save you some time, I’ve put together a package of Valentine’s Basics that work all year long. Go to shop.secretsoftheredcarpet.com and preserve your domestic tranquility.
Go out, conquer and enjoy your Valentine’s Day in whatever form it takes you!